September 21, 2011

what i’m working on

I have no idea.

For the past month (plus a week), I’ve been dabbling in different story ideas, trying to figure out what to work on. First it was the love-triangle fantasy. Then it was the steampunk sequel. The time-travel adventure. The fantasy I’ve already written twice. Another fantasy. And now, I’m back to the fantasy I’ve already written. Next week, I might change my mind again.

I’m indecisive (which you are all probably tired of hearing).

For all of these story ideas, I’ve done a bit of work: plotting, openings, character sketches, brainstorming. My biggest problem has been my indecision. As soon as I commit to a certain story, I get this weird nauseous feeling in my chest that it’s not the right story to work on. The fact that I’ve gone multiple times back to the fantasy I’ve already written means something, I think. It’s a story I fell utterly in love with when I first wrote it. During revisions, I fell out of love with it.

I hated the damn thing.

I still hate it, to be perfectly honest. But for whatever godforsaken reason, I feel like it’s the story to write, and that makes me feel insane. The story has gone through seven drafts already (I counted). Just thinking about diving into those already written pages, sifting out the gold, and throwing away the pond scum—it makes my stomach churn. As does rewriting the story.

It isn’t going to be easy, and I think that’s why I’ve avoided it so long. It’s going to be difficult. Really difficult. More difficult than anything I’ve ever done. It scares me. It thrills me. And maybe that fear, that anxiety is what will make this the best rendition yet. I guess I’ll find out.

So, what am I working on right now? A monstrous project. The rewrite of the ages. My first completed novel. My toughest revision. A tale of magic, adventure, and a little bit of romance. And it will be great. I know it will.

What will I be working on next week? Who knows? But I hope it’s the fantasy.

What are you working on?

4 comments:

  1. Wow, lots going on there :-)

    I am working on my YA paranormal. I've got my fantasy sitting in the wings so I can work on it's 5th revision whenever I can.

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  2. Good luck! I tend to think of all those possibilities as assurance I'll never be bored :)

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  3. That's such a hard thing! While writing my perfectly plan, perfectly plotted, perfectly everything WIP I got major writer's block on chapter 6. And this other story kept knocking at my brain. I was writing and writing, but not on my once perfect little WIP. Such a pain in the butt when the story (or many stories in your case!) chooses you and not the other way around!

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  4. Gosh, I was hoping you were working on the sequel to The Clockwork Giant. :-)

    Me? Finished the rough (so very rough) draft of book three in the Griffin series and now in the revising stage. Love revising!!! LOVE. LOVE. LOVE it.

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