I finished plotting the second novel in my steampunk series,
but I haven’t started writing yet. Why? I’m scared. I’m afraid that it won’t be
as good as the first book. I’m afraid that the plot is boring. I’m afraid that
I’m a terrible writer and this whole writing thing has been a colossal waste of
time. I’m afraid no one will read my books when I publish them. I’m afraid that
I finished the first novel by some weird mistake, and there’s no way that I
could ever write a second book. I’m afraid that everyone I know will think I’m
a failure since I’m self-publishing.
That’s a lot of fear to overcome.
So I’ve been sitting, waiting. For what, I have no idea. And
the more I wait, the more I worry. It’s a downward spiral of doom.
Yesterday, in an attempt to be productive, I tried coming up
with titles, to no avail. I tried writing a blurb. No success there either. I
did everything but write. And all this procrastination is killing my brain. I
was so utterly unproductive yesterday that I had a brief stint of lying in the
floor wondering why the hell I ever decided to be a writer (and I won’t deny,
as emotional as I am, there were tears). Luckily, that was remedied by a trip
to On the Border and a $10 margarita. Everything’s funny to me when I get a bit
tipsy, so my feeling of worthlessness quickly evaporated when I was giggling
about how weird it felt to chew black beans. My husband just kept laughing at
me.
I feel much better today, but the fear is still there.
But, as Laura Pauling so eloquently expressed on her blog today:
Just write.
So that’s what I’m going to do today. I’m going to sit at my
computer. Butt in chair. Hands on keyboard. And I’m going to write. Maybe it
will be terrible, maybe it will be brilliant. Either way, I need to get the
words off my chest and start this next book. Worrying, procrastination, and
hiding under my desk isn’t going to help me finish it. The only way to write a
book is one word at a time.
If you’re stuck, if you want to start a project but haven’t
yet, if you feel inadequate or worthless or talentless, put that all aside and just write. None of that matters today. Just write.
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And in other news, I’d like to start interviewing some indie
and self-pubbed authors and reviewing some indie and self-pubbed books. So if you
self-publish or have a book with a small publisher, or if you know someone who
does who wants some blog coverage, send me an email at brookenomicon@gmail.com and let me
know if you’d like an interview, book review, or both. And I’m willing to read
just about anything as far as book reviews go, though you’ll really have to blow my mind with zombies, werewolves,
dystopians, and post-apocalyptic stories.
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