I finished plotting the second novel in my steampunk series, but I haven’t started writing yet. Why? I’m scared. I’m afraid that it won’t be as good as the first book. I’m afraid that the plot is boring. I’m afraid that I’m a terrible writer and this whole writing thing has been a colossal waste of time. I’m afraid no one will read my books when I publish them. I’m afraid that I finished the first novel by some weird mistake, and there’s no way that I could ever write a second book. I’m afraid that everyone I know will think I’m a failure since I’m self-publishing.
That’s a lot of fear to overcome.
So I’ve been sitting, waiting. For what, I have no idea. And the more I wait, the more I worry. It’s a downward spiral of doom.
Yesterday, in an attempt to be productive, I tried coming up with titles, to no avail. I tried writing a blurb. No success there either. I did everything but write. And all this procrastination is killing my brain. I was so utterly unproductive yesterday that I had a brief stint of lying in the floor wondering why the hell I ever decided to be a writer (and I won’t deny, as emotional as I am, there were tears). Luckily, that was remedied by a trip to On the Border and a $10 margarita. Everything’s funny to me when I get a bit tipsy, so my feeling of worthlessness quickly evaporated when I was giggling about how weird it felt to chew black beans. My husband just kept laughing at me.
I feel much better today, but the fear is still there.
So that’s what I’m going to do today. I’m going to sit at my computer. Butt in chair. Hands on keyboard. And I’m going to write. Maybe it will be terrible, maybe it will be brilliant. Either way, I need to get the words off my chest and start this next book. Worrying, procrastination, and hiding under my desk isn’t going to help me finish it. The only way to write a book is one word at a time.
If you’re stuck, if you want to start a project but haven’t yet, if you feel inadequate or worthless or talentless, put that all aside and just write. None of that matters today. Just write.
And in other news, I’d like to start interviewing some indie and self-pubbed authors and reviewing some indie and self-pubbed books. So if you self-publish or have a book with a small publisher, or if you know someone who does who wants some blog coverage, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know if you’d like an interview, book review, or both. And I’m willing to read just about anything as far as book reviews go, though you’ll really have to blow my mind with zombies, werewolves, dystopians, and post-apocalyptic stories.